The News Relevance Scale

Since so much "news" is trivial matters that don't have an inpact on most people's lives, I've decided to develop a system for classify the news worthiness of articles. Simply put, I'll assign a value 1-5 for how the event effects the people directly involved and how large a group they are. I will also assign a value of 1-5 for how it affects people indirectly affected and how many people are effected indirectly.

So, a "10" would be something that has a huge impact on everyone on the planet. For example, nuclear war, a cure for cancer, or contact with Alien life.

A "0" will be award to things like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie doing anything short of murder.

I've decided to use cnn.com as my initial test of the News Relevance Scale. Here's their top stories for today:

• Benoit deaths raise 'roid rage' questions

2.0

This seems a little high, but 3 people are dead, one of whom was a child. I'd imagine if they lived in my town or watched wrestling, I'd feel some sense of personal loss.

• Fire threatens hundreds of homes | Map | Video

3.0

Lots of people might lose a lot of property.

• Flood traps people on houses, cars
  

2.0

It's like a smaller version of the fire issue.

• Blair ends term; Brown is Britain's new PM
  

6.0

Affects the people of England tremendously and the international community significantly.

• Court: Suspected mom killer abused his kids
  

1.0

This sort of thing happens all the time. What's different about this? He was a cop? He was black, she was white? I don't see this being an OJ level race issue. It's tragic, but no more so then things that don't get a sniff of the top headlines that happen all the time.

• Gay? Can you tell? | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Key

0.0

How is this news?

• Together, Beatles were magic, McCartney says

0.0

Maybe I need to start assigning negative numbers. I mean, really. Yes, this is "news" for Entertainment Tonight, but this isn't even an event!

• Ticker: Edwards tells Coulter to stop it
  

1.0

He's running for president. She's evil. She's the epitome of what this site stands against. Still, this isn't really news.

• Mystery mummy is missing female pharaoh
  

1.0

I guess if you're into Mummies, this is a big deal.

• JibJab's 'Star-Spangled Banner' | More

0.0

Let JibJab do their own advertising.

• Car billed as world's oldest up for sale
  

0.5

I'm trying to sell my old comic book collection too. CNN, how about hooking me up?

• iPhone users will have to buy music on the side
  

2.0

Could mean a shift in technology, but unlikely to change most people's lives.

• Hotdog chomp champ says he has 'jaw-thritis'

0.0

I love competitive eating as much as the next guy, but you can't tell me this is one of the most important events in the last 24 hrs.

So for today, cnn.com gets a 1.42. Now, you're gonna have slow news days but I don't think that's the case here. I think CNN has decided to tell us about a lot of meaningless drivel. I'd give them points for not mentioning Paris Hilton being released from jail but then they're interviewing her tonight on Larry King Live...