Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Paris Hilton

Bill O'Reilly loves to say that he doesn't care about Paris Hilton. In fact, he has said it on about half of every radio show he has broadcast over the last few months. Does anyone else see a paradox here?

Yesterday, on his show, he talked about how Paris was "kicked out of jail" last night. He went on to talk about people who were there for her release at midnight to say "we love you Paris". He then on to question who these people are. He then alluded to the media being very corrupt in covering the Paris Hilton story.

So why does Bill O'Reilly continue to talk about Paris Hilton? He continues to say her story is not important. We here at Fire Bill O'Reilly agree. Paris Hilton should not be covered in any depth by the large media outlets. So Bill, please practice what you preach and never mention her again.

Our government is involved in an undeclared war. We are fighting "terrorists" which really cannot even be defined. This makes victory also undefinable. The inflation rate is very high do to the excesses of the fed. Americans are in more personal debt than ever in our history. The level of housing foreclosures is at an all time high. Millions of Americans have no health care. And on and on. The list of problems with the current American governing system are endless. With your important pulpit, you can discuss any number of important issues. I ask you as strongly as I can to please do so.

The News Relevance Scale

Since so much "news" is trivial matters that don't have an inpact on most people's lives, I've decided to develop a system for classify the news worthiness of articles. Simply put, I'll assign a value 1-5 for how the event effects the people directly involved and how large a group they are. I will also assign a value of 1-5 for how it affects people indirectly affected and how many people are effected indirectly.

So, a "10" would be something that has a huge impact on everyone on the planet. For example, nuclear war, a cure for cancer, or contact with Alien life.

A "0" will be award to things like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie doing anything short of murder.

I've decided to use as my initial test of the News Relevance Scale. Here's their top stories for today:

This seems a little high, but 3 people are dead, one of whom was a child. I'd imagine if they lived in my town or watched wrestling, I'd feel some sense of personal loss.


Lots of people might lose a lot of property.


It's like a smaller version of the fire issue.


Affects the people of England tremendously and the international community significantly.


This sort of thing happens all the time. What's different about this? He was a cop? He was black, she was white? I don't see this being an OJ level race issue. It's tragic, but no more so then things that don't get a sniff of the top headlines that happen all the time.


How is this news?


Maybe I need to start assigning negative numbers. I mean, really. Yes, this is "news" for Entertainment Tonight, but this isn't even an event!


He's running for president. She's evil. She's the epitome of what this site stands against. Still, this isn't really news.


I guess if you're into Mummies, this is a big deal.


Let JibJab do their own advertising.


I'm trying to sell my old comic book collection too. CNN, how about hooking me up?


Could mean a shift in technology, but unlikely to change most people's lives.


I love competitive eating as much as the next guy, but you can't tell me this is one of the most important events in the last 24 hrs.

So for today, gets a 1.42. Now, you're gonna have slow news days but I don't think that's the case here. I think CNN has decided to tell us about a lot of meaningless drivel. I'd give them points for not mentioning Paris Hilton being released from jail but then they're interviewing her tonight on Larry King Live...

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

My grandfather always used to say, figures don't lie but liar's figure.

Mayor Bloomberg is an independent. We know nothing else so lets run with it:

So their argument is:

While you might expect that Bloomberg entering the race will hurt Republicans, it will actually hurt democrats.

And there evidence is:

Polls show that The margin by which Clinton would win over Giuliani would widen with Bloomberg entering the race. WIDEN!... Excuse me, I must use the restroom.


The O'Reilly intro:

[Music in the background; Gary Wright's "Love is Alive"]
Well I think its time to get ready to realize just what I have found

[O'Reilly's voice]
"The way I get things done is to say to politicians and powerful people, either you do the right thing or I'm going to tear your throat out."

[Barbara Walters]
"He's very controversial. He takes certain stands."

[Other voices I don't recognize]
"I think that he has a United States of America view honey!"

"Is he conservative or is he liberal?"

"I don't agree with O'Reilly but I think he has talent."

"I love Bill O'Reilly. Well balanced. Neither right nor left. Always tells the truth."

"I'm in this to win it. I'm in it to win it, the culture war."

[Rosie O'Donnell]
"All the criticism you get. You're obnoxious. You're rude. Does it bother you or do you like it?"

Are you kidding me? This is the intro to a news show? He threatens to tear the throat out of people he disagrees with. He has a bunch of people talk about how he doesn't lie and is perfectly balanced. He has Rosie O'Donnell call him obnoxious and rude. This is the state of modern journalism? Pretend you are balanced and then spend 2 hours on the radio (more like 70 minutes with the plethora of commercials, not to mention the constant selling of his books, t-shirts, mugs and premium website access) espousing a very specific and directed agenda.

I thought I would start out by giving you a taste of how he sells himself. In the days, weeks, months and years to come (who are we kidding, we will get bored of writing in this blog by Thursday) we will go into details about O'Reilly's tactics as well as the tactics of "journalists" from sources as varied as Fox, The New York Times, CNN, Free Market News Network, etc etc.